There's no place like home.

I don't even know where to begin...

I believe I have written the statement that 'I don't have the right raise these children unless I can guarantee that I can do a better job than their families'.  If I haven't written it before know that I've been pondering it and praying through it a lot.  The truth is that all but 2 of the children do have family; fathers, grandmothers, sisters.  The reasons they are here at the orphanage vary and all are valid reasons.  Part of it is that they were at a very vulnerable age when they were first taken in.  They had no rights within the families.  No ability to speak for themselves.  They are older now, knowing right from wrong.

I have many personal struggles with the idea of reuniting them with their families.  Most selfish.  I love these kids more than I have known love for anyone.  The Lord has captured my heart for them.  I know that this love is a love that is only from Him.  I'm not capable of it.  I came here willing and thinking that He was asking me to take them all, keep them all, and create a family.  Not exactly.  He has asked me to love them enough to reunite them with the families He created them to be in.  Children belong in families, not in orphanages.  Period.  It sadly isn't always possible.  But for some it is. 

Dorca (8) and Agosto (5) have been at the orphanage for about 2 1/2 years.  Right now they are at their grandmother's home on their 3rd visit.  We (Adao, a friend who has been helping me and I) returned to pick them up after the first visit and Agosto did not want to come back!  Dorca was ready to come back.  The reason they are at the orphanage is because Agosto was being neglected by the grandmother and the rest of the family for cultural/spiritual reasons.  He was severely malnourished when he came.  Dorca was brought in later because Agosto was very lonely for his big sister and he needed her close by. 

The grandmother who neglected him is the same one who now has accepted him and Dorca back.  The last time I took them home, Agosto went over to where she was sitting right away and sat next to her.  Content.  Where he belongs.  With his grandmother.  Please believe that this is only of the Lord.  He has changed her.  I am told that the grandmother's response is not the norm.  I was anticipating having to fight for Dorca and Agosto.  To convince the grandmother that they belonged with her.  But there was no need.  She has welcomed them back.  Both Dorca and Agosto are now doing very well at home.  The only problem is that they are missing there friends here at the orphanage.  Very understandable.  They come back for a few nights and then are ready to be at home again.

Toni (5) just finished his first visit to his father's home.  It lasted 1 week.  He was supposed to come back after 3 nights but he too did not want to!  His father did not want him to come back either!  While visiting, the dad's wife (not Toni's mom) said that 'Toni is a happy, fun boy and nice to have around'.  She said it with a big smile.  Since she is one who takes care of the children, her acceptance is huge.  Culturally a child whose mother died is considered an orphan.  They do not usually live with the father.  Praise the Lord!  Toni gets to live with his dad and he looks great!  He too is where he belongs.  He is with his family.

Toni is the one the Lord used to really begin the prayers for this process.  Around 1-2 months ago, before bedtime, he asked if he could go live with his papa.  Toni didn't really know what that meant.  He has lived at the orphanage since he was a baby.  He knew who his dad was.  They even saw each other weekly but they never interacted.  So we began to pray every night for his papa and that someday Toni could live with him.  I also began to pray with all the kids that they could have a chance to grow up in and be loved by a family.  For Dorca, Agosto, and Toni the Lord has begun the processes of answering those prayers.  Being faithful to fulfill the desires of their hearts.  The desires He placed there.  We will continue to try to walk along the path He made.  Continuing as fast or slow with the process as the children need. 

My commitment to their lives continues no matter where they are living and in a way seems stronger when they are home because I believe that is what is best for them.  I want to facilitate that as much as possible.  Also, my love for them exists no matter where they live.  I don't know what our future together looks like but pray the Lord will allow me to continue to be part of their lives in some way. 

Please pray for these 3.  Specifically for protection from illness, continued blessing in the transition home, and peace about being there.  Please pray for the others (Vasco, Nede, Tenache, Nune, and Gina) that the Lord would prepare them and their families just has He has been faithful to before.  For Carolina and Carina, that He would allow them to be part of and loved by a family as if they were born into it.  For me, continued strength and endurance.  I know what it is to be weary, (feak and weable as a friend here would say).  I know that many are praying for me because I would not still be here if it were not so.  Pray for continued provision for us all.  I plan to go vehicle shopping tomorrow.  A vehicle has become a necessity this last month because of taking the kids home and visiting them.  I have no clue what car buying looks like in Mozambique.  I guess I will find out tomorrow.   Thankfully, friends have been borrowing me their vehicles when I have needed one.  There are GREAT people over here that I get to walk along side of (and slightly behind).  I am blessed.  The Lord is faithful.  

Greetings...Finally

Wow!  Once again time has flown by faster than it seems it ever has.  Let me recap the last month for you.

Let's start with a couple birthdays, or three.  Nune and Gina turned 2 and Carina turned 1 the beginning of Sept.  We celebrated the birthdays together.  It was a fun afternoon of cake, candles, singing, and games at my place.  Last November I remember being here when Nune and Gina were first learning to walk and am blessed beyond words that I am here to celebrate their second birthday.  Now they are talkative, mobile, beautiful little people.  Nune is very smart and kind.  He has learned more English than I have Shone and amazes me everyday with something new.  Gina is very sweet and gentle.  She loves hugs and to sing.  Carina's little personality is developing daily.  She has just learned how to give kisses...or at least make the mm-u sound that goes with it.  She is mobile with a half sit-crawl scoot and loves to try to stand without help.  Growing more and more each day, as kids do.  It's a blessing to be part of.

Nede also had a birthday.  She turned 4.  I wish you all could hear her cute little voice and especially the laughter that comes from deep inside of her.  A soulful laugh.  It's impossible to not to laugh a little every time you hear it...even when she's being naughty.  (The pink splotches on everyone in the photos is calamine lotion.  We have survived chickenpox.  Nine of the ten all got them within 2 weeks.  They all were troupers and enjoyed the extra calamine application time before bed.  I'm sure everyone had a couple of extra nights of calamine even though they weren't itching anymore.)

Another blessing that I was aloud to be part of is not as joyous for those of us left.  My friend Elisabeth died about 2 1/2 weeks ago.  She was an amazing person who's faith never seemed to waiver.  I was able to spend the last few nights with her.  The peace that she had and that was present in her room is the peace that is beyond understanding.  I am honored to have been able to share that time with her.  She is greatly missed.  I have also learned the peace of what it is to mourn with the hope that we will see her again, under His mercy.  Her boys are living very close to Elisabeth's home with an aunt and uncle.  They seem to be doing well.  Death is unfortunately such a common thing here.  I don't really know how to tell how they are doing.  It's something they are used to in a way.  Please continue to pray for them; their healing and futures.  With so many things to die from here, it's hard for me, still, to understand why a 33 year old had to die from brain cancer.  Some things we don't need to understand.

A couple weekends ago we got to go swimming with some friends to help.  It was a gift from two girls who are here from Sweden.  The day for me will always rank high on the scale of the best days of my life.  There was a water slide that compared to what we're used to was very simple.  It was just straight, no curves, loops, or tunnels.  But it was made of medal and so very fast.  All of the kids tried it once.  I was very proud of them.  Three loved it and couldn't get enough.  Two of them had to go with someone and so I was able to many, many times too.  I have not seen such big smiles on them before for all day long.  Mine was probably just as big.

Dorca had her 8th birthday this week.  Another day of cake, singing, and games.  (FYI-There isn't wide of a selection of cake here, one brand of boxed chocolate or vanilla and am not ambitious enough to make them from scratch.  I am honestly, already, quite tired of birthday cakes.)  Dorca is a very beautiful young lady.  She does struggle with being the oldest but is slowly learning how to deal with the responsibility of that. 

Lately, I have been reminded of the fact that I live in Africa.  I live in Africa.  I live in Africa and get to love 10 incredible little children.  Work in a clinic along side 2 amazing women helping care for 500+ children, of whom many have already had a harder life than I will probably ever have.  I know this is something I should be used to by now but every so often I have a reality check.  The most recent one started last week when another battle with malaria forced me to lay in bed for nearly 42 out of 48 hours (3rd battle if your counting).  I am almost back to 100% now.  Just lacking a bit of strength and endurance.  The Lord is faithful in all to provide exactly what I need.  He knows what that is better than I.  This past week He knew I needed a time of rest.  Other than the moments of pain, fever, and shivers I am actually thankful for the time of rest.  Maybe someday I will be thankful for the times of pain, fever, and shivers that come in life too.   

Something else that the Lord knew I needed here was a young, beautiful friend named Aimee.  I was recently reminded of a phrase that I heard often during a season of my life: "God gives His people His people".  She has definitely been a gift from God and am very thankful for her and her friendship.  Her time here is ending though as she left today for home.  Zimbabwe.  I will greatly miss her and know that we will keep in touch.  The Lord knows what we need.  I am blessed that He knew I needed Aimee.

One more incredible thing is that I now thankfully have the key to a Mozambican post office box.  This simple task involved quite the effort.  Nothing is same day service here.  My address is:

Sarah Berreth                                                                                          C.P.147                                                                                                  Chimoio, Manica                                                                                   Mozambique 

Letters and packages are most welcome.

Blessings to all.

Contagious Diseases

Chickenpox is not a big thing, thankfully.  But to have 5 children with chickenpox at one time is draining for them and me.  I don't remember them lasting as long as they are for these little ones.  They are tuff kids.  They don't complain at all until bedtime and then I get to put calamine on every little bump.  Some I wish I could bath them in it but I enjoy, as do they, the extra time and attention I get to give them. 

Thank you, Jesus, for patience, love, and calamine lotion.  This too shall pass.

Out of the mouth of babes

Just a quick story that sums up a lot of experiences here.  Blessings poured out to the fullest in the least expected moments and often from the least expected people.

There was a battle waging against me and a 4 year old who was insistent on not listening but instead was fighting; kicking and pinching me.  For various reasons, all of which come down to the simple fact that I was out of ideas and knew not what else to do, I was trying to just keep them in bed.  Tony came into the room we were in and just watched for a few minutes.  Then he says with a voice of urgency and in English, "sister Sarah, say Thank you Jesus for (name with held to not mar the name).  The frustration and doubts of the moment were quickly defeated with the simple reminder of a 5 year old.  I am blessed to be given the opportunity to love such precious creations.  

"Let the little children come to Me, and do not forbid them; for of such is the kingdom of God.  Assuredly, I say to you whoever does not receive the kingdom of God as a little child will by no means enter it." And He took them up in His arms, laid His hands on them, and blessed them.  Mark 10:14-16

 

The beautiful, uncomplicated faith of a child.  Lord, that is what I desire.  Thank you, Jesus, for Tony...Dorca, Agusto, Carolina, Vasco, Nede, Tenache, Nune, Gina, and Carolina.

Time Keeps on Ticking

Are you having as hard of a time as I am believing it is already the end of August?  Crazy!  Almost, already (only) 3 months in Mozambique.  It's probably time I stop, think about what the Lord has shown me, write it down, remember it, and hold fast to it until He shows me something different (which may very well be tomorrow or next week). 

So in numerical order of no importance a few things I have learned and/or relearned in the last 2 months and 3 weeks:

1. God loves us more than we will ever know on this earth.  He is the God of the universe.  He placed every star in the sky and knows them by name.  Yet, He loves you and me so much that He knew us before we were born, He knows the number of hair on our head, He know the number of our days.  The same God who created the universe humbled Himself, became man, lived within the limitation of the flesh, died on a cross for our sins and then defeated death, so that we could freely commune with Him.  His desire is for us to be with Him. 

2. God is faithful and unchanging therefore He will never be unfaithful.

3. In the reality of eternity, this life may not be long but it is hard.  It was never promised to be easy.  May I learn to consider all trials pure joy knowing that the testing of my faith produces patience and then letting patience have its perfect work, that I may be perfect and complete.  Believing, with a faith that has been tested, that in the Lord I am perfect and complete, lacking nothing.

4. God is greater than anything...everything.

5. God is still on His throne...no matter where I am at.

6. Only walk as far as you can see.  Don't try to find your way in the dark.

7. When I forget all of the above and all can do is hold on to Jesus, that's alright.  Just keep holding on.

Time Goes by Fast

Wow, it's been a while since I updated you all. I've been avoiding the internet simply because it's easy to do when life gets busy. Sorry.

One of the things that has happened is that we are now 10, in a good way. Meli was able to go home to her dad. She was with us because of a difficult situation with her mom's family but they have now moved away and it is safe and good for her to be with her dad and his family. They love her dearly. We took her home on Monday. They truly live in the bush. We traveled the paved hwy for about 15 min. and then drove for 1 hour to cover 17 km on dirt roads/paths. Meli's family has to travel most of the 17 km on foot whenever they need supplies or when they would visit Meli at the orphanage. She is still in the baby feeding program, which in short means that I will still get to see her every 1-2 weeks. We miss her. We continue to pray for her. But God created her to be in her family and they do really care for and love her. She is where she belongs.

Meli, 2 years old, with her auntie.

Something else that has happened in the last 3 weeks is that the baby feeding program that I work with has outgrown it's current location. At the beginning of the year, it is going to be moving. In distance it's not a big move but it was a hard decision for those who had to make it.

I don't recall ever explaining the baby feeding program. I sometimes refer to it as the clinic. Jacqui, a nurse from South Africa, has been overseeing it for about 12 years. Mothers, fathers, aunts, and grandmothers from near and very far bring their children to be weighed, receive basic heath care, and nutrition. They always get powdered milk and then depending on their weight sometimes sugar and/or oil to mix with the milk. When I was here in Nov. 2008 there were about 375 babies on the program. We now have 500+. The babies are either HIV+, born to HIV+ mothers, the mothers have died, or the babies came in severely malnourished. They come every week to two weeks based on health and if they gained weight or not. The parent or caregivers also receive basic health care. A home, with a family is ideally the best place for a child to grow up and so the more we can help support and treat the health of the caregivers the longer the child can live with them. A truth that is not hard to understand is that an orphanage is not the best place to raise an orphan, it is with remaining family. They just need encouragement and support sometimes to make it possible.

Jacqui has also been overseeing the children in the baby orphanage but will not be able to when the clinic moves. That means by the beginning of the year I have the great privilege and responsibility of overseeing the children and staff. I know you are all thinking, 'Isn't that what you're there for?'. Yes. But this all is moving faster than I could imagine. Thankfully, the Lord's grace is sufficient, His mercies are new every day, and He gives us the strength to make it through each day. Also, I am very thankful for Jacqui. She is very patient, encouraging, supportive, and wise in many ways. I am blessed to learn from her and serve along side of her. Please pray for us during this time of change and transition. That the Lord would clearly show His plans and that we are willing to walk in obedience.

Another prayer request is for a friend, Elizabeth, who works in the clinic with us. She is vital part of the team having an incredible sensitivity to the Holy Spirit and being Mozambican, she knows the culture and helps us to understand. She is so much more that but I can't put it into words right now. She started experiencing physical deficits on her left side, weakness, dizziness, and headaches. A CT scan done in Zimbabwe (the nearest location for a CAT scan) revealed a brain tumor, a glioma. Which means it's not a good thing. From what I understand, even though surgery can be performed to remove the tumor, it is not a cancer that can be cured. She is 33 years old, has 3 sons, Elijah (14), Solomon (11), and Israel (5). Her husband died from TB before Israel was born. I can't imagine how hard it is to be a single mom but being a single mom here seems even more difficult to imagine. She is a beautiful person whose faith and trust is in the Lord. My prayers for her are first of all the the Lord, the Great Physician, would heal her. He can and it would be an incredible demonstration of His power to a lot of people. Secondly, if she is not healed, that wisdom and provision would given for what we can do to help her medically. And then, also for her boys, for strength, that the Lord will provide a safe and loving home for them where they can stay together, and that they would turn to the Him for comfort and peace. Please remember them in your prayers with the faith that the Lord still does miracles. He can heal her.

Elizabeth and me in Nov.

(Not a very good picture of her.)

A third, lighter prayer request is for a vehicle. I hope to be purchasing a vehicle within the next couple of months. My prayer is for one that runs well and can fit all of us in it. Which means, most likely, a single cab pickup with a topper. Remember TIA. Also that I would be patient and know that He can provide far better than I can imagine.

The final prayer request is for patience and wisdom about the future for me and the children. For a clear, well light direction for the future and the faith and strength to follow after His plan. Faith that the Lord will protect and provide. Wisdom in how to love and, in love, discipline each individual little spirit.

Just so you all know, life here is hard at times but also joyful and colorful often in surprising ways. For example, I have a new friend in my garden. Meet George, the camelian, who doesn't change color very well or possibly at all. You never know what the Lord will surprise you with when you walk out the front door.

Here is one more joy in my life. Agusto is 4 years old. Has an older sister that lives with us (They get to share a bunk bed). He has a very gentle, quiet, and sensitive spirit.

Blessings to you all. Congrats if you made it to the end! If you ever have questions about what I write here or would like to know more, please feel free to contact me via email at sarah_berreth@hotmail.com. Just make the subject clear because I don't look at the mail in the 'junk mail' box very closely.

My Faith Did Not See This

The family is now...back to eleven!!!!  Josiah's, whose real name is Christiana (if I remember correctly), mom has found him!  He was kidnapped in a town that is a 3 hour drive away.  No clue how far in km.  His mom was able to track him to the police station he was taken to and then they brought her to us!  PRAISE THE LORD!!! 

I have no more words but will simply sit now in awe of our Lord.  He can do more than our wildest imagination.  He's the one who gave us our imagination!  How great is our God.  Thank you for your prayers!